Ok.. this year I was in Sri Lanka on Valentine’s Day. While much of my trip was spent in governmental offices and queues; attending to meaningless paperwork., my thoughts were not far from relationships – and my failure to have one.
The one that was the most particularly haunting was the failure to impress the girl in the office. Even more the fact that my actions may ended what could have been a great friendship. Perhaps she didn’t really want to be friends with me. What’s done is done and can’t be undone. She has moved on to a bigger and better life. Meeting relatives who often ask you the question about when am I planning to settle down didn’t help much alleviate it.
And what of my Russian connections?
Well, the letters keep on coming and coming – like a tsunami of desperation; filled with heartfelt words and virtual emotions. Reading their words and looking at their beautiful Slavic faces, I’m often caught up thinking – how do I hope to find a gem in such an ocean? What was worse, if I did find what I was looking for, would I be able to recognize it.
There was a girl that I was talking to on the dating sites. Her letters were so full of life and joy. She was expressing how much she cared for me. I began to wonder if it was really possible for someone to feel that way about a guy that she has never met before. I didn’t know if it was possible for me to feel about her that way.
Needless to say, I said that I would love to meet up with her and only then could I actually commit to any kind of relationship. She agreed, until a couple of ago; she wrote saying that she is leaving the site and that she wishes me luck in my search.
I began to think. Did I find my gem and throw it away? Here was someone; who in all practical counts, was perfect for me. She was articulent, charismatic, intelligent and top it all off, looks of a Goddess. So why could I not just settle? Why could I not just commit?
The upside is that my lonely valentine’s will not last forever and one day I will find my gem. Whether on a Russian dating site or a chance meeting in a bar, I will find her.
But till then, “I’ll be celebrating Valentine’s Day Han’s style – Solo.”… 😛