Modern media often promotes this myth that love is uncontrollable, that it’s something that just happens to us. In fact, even the language we use implies the uncontrollability of love. We say, “I fell in love,” as if love is some kind of ditch. It’s like I’m walking along one day and — bam! — I fell in love. I couldn’t help myself.
I have spoken about ‘Love’ in a subjective sense. In a previous article, “Love – Let’s Talk“, I busted the myth about not being able to choose the one you fall in love with. Well, as I become more acquainted with this complex emotion, I think I can now explain it better.
So… Is Love this uncontrollable emotion that just happens to us?
There are times I’d like to believe it is true and even had a taste of what that felt like.Long time followers of my blog will talk of my articles about a recent situation with a co-worker; someone with whom I became completely infatuated with – to the point of saying that I actually ‘Loved’ her – aka, “Girl Trouble“.
I still remember it clearly now. We had been working together for a while. And then one fine day, I walk into the office and there she was. I saw her and was so completely smitten, I was left speechless. Something happened, something changed. Her smile so warm, would melt the hardest of hearts and her eyes radiated with beauty, intelligence & passion. It was then that I knew I wasn’t just merely looking at a gorgeous beauty, but a miracle.
Getting back to the subject at hand, I regret to inform you that what I felt there, was not Love.. But what I did after Was.. When I saw her, what I felt was just merely ‘Attraction’ and ‘Arousal’.. These are uncontrollable feelings. They just happen; sometimes at the most inopportune moments, hence their cause for spontaneous actions. They can lead to love, but they are not love. Love is a choice.
Having seen my colleague in that new light, I chose to act on my feelings and hope that she would notice me in the same light. And even if she didn’t or even intentionally hurt me, I had decided I was going to care for her anyway; even if that mean’t it was from afar. That is Love.. It is a choice and you are the only person who can stop you from loving someone else — because love is a choice you make.
This also explains the human ability to transfer our feel
ings over to other people. As I recall, I’ve done it 4 times. – ‘Whale Of A Tale‘
Karla Downing wrote a great article stating reasons why Love is a choice and not an emotion. Looking at her 5 reasons, you easily see that loving someone is a conscious decision and not something that comes out of an uncontrollable urge. Feelings come and go – true Love will always stay the same.
Ever heard the phrase, “Love at first sight”?… Is there such a thing? There have been reports of such occurrences.
I suppose, being a romantic at heart, to negate such a notion would be considered a heresy.
I believe I may have felt that myself – with a waitress at a bar. I suppose it can be best described as seeing a perfect stranger and being completely overcome with feelings of attraction, arousal and infatuation that you lend yourself into believing that this vision you now behold is your destiny. You decide that you’re ready to go to hell and back for that person; to accept her despite her flaws ‘cuz she’s worth it.
While this may be a business term, I think the same can be said about Love – Fortune favours the Brave. Those brave enough to act will find out if its true or not.