Girl Trouble

Doors… Is there another?

doorsThey say that when one door closes, many others open up.

I wonder if that is true about matters of the heart? I would think so. In my article “Love – Let’s talk“, I kinda of spoke about the myths and common statement involving love.
One of those dealt if there was more truly more than one person you in this world. Now I wish I believed in my own words.

Its been a while since I posted anything on here. I guess I was feeling a bit disheartened for a while – matters of the heart. 😉
Things with the girl at the office didn’t go as well as I would have hoped. I believe I messed things up again. She does not feel the same way and probably never will. We are still friends and shall remain that way. As much as my heart pines for her, I will have to accept it and move on.

So this brings me to the first line of this article – When one door closes, many others open.
In previous articles I have mentioned that while in a drunken state I signed up to dating site that specialised in introducing Russian and Ukrainian women to foreigners.
I have to say that I have met some amazing people. I entered communication with some of them with scepticism. Frankly I could never believe anyone who said that I was handsome. Through letters and video chat I have come to believe that these are beautiful and intelligent women.

So.. Does this mean that I’ve moved on? Perhaps.. But there was a bigger question to I had to ask – why I was so hung up on one person?
Probably it was the way that I fell in love with her. Maybe it was the fact that her heart was unattainable; it was a challenge. But then again, if the “Whale of a Tale” articles are anything to go by, any woman’s heart was unattainable for me.

Truth be told, there was only one reason. I needed to believe in Love itself. One of my rules is that I always mean what I say and I say what I mean. I was struggling to move on because I wanted to be know whether I was capable of truly loving someone.
In my mind, if I was to move on and so easily give my heart to another woman after being rejected, that would mean that I truly didn’t love the girl in the office as much as I thought I did. And I was not OK with that idea.
I know I truly loved her; I still do.. My feelings are real. I wanted them to be real.

Now with that door closed, is there another for me? As I said in my article, Yes… Could it be one of these ladies that I met on the site? Probably. Only time will tell.
Frankly with all the beautiful women I’ve been talking to I feel like a judge in a Miss. World pageant. I wonder how those people could choose one contestant over another, because I can’t seem to decide amongst all these women either.

The problem is with me. I think my feelings for the girl in the office have clouded my judgement. Its messed up my understanding of what kind of person I want to be with. Should I be looking for someone like her? Or should I be looking for someone completely different..?

The question now is not whether there is another door or not.. It’s which one should I take…?


Categories: Girl Trouble

3 replies »

    • It now not the matter of should or shouldn’t. It the matter of which door to take. I feel like Chris O Donnell in ‘The Bachelor’ – being chased online by women who I don’t really know and want to have a relationship with me.

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