Girl Trouble

You’ve Got Mail

penpalsRecently, a friend on Facebook posted something on her status which actually intrigued me. She questioned whether or not she was falling for someone whom she had never met.
Now, two things went through my mind reading that. For one, I was curious as to whom she was talking about. Part wondered if it was your’s truly. “Yeah, Right.. Only in your Wildest & Craziest Dreams, Julian”… LOL. 😛
I can only assume that it is one of her acquaintances on Facebook.

The idea of falling in love with someone that you’ve never met is certainly not a new one. The concept is as old as the spoken word; the scenario being played over & over in countless books and films. The most famous of being the 1940s “Shop Around The Corner” starring James Stewart & the 1998 hit it inspired. I’m sure my readers have heard of the title. 😛

So we know there are movies made about it, but does it happen in real life?
In a recent post, I spoke of two extremely lovely ladies who have expressed that they have feelings for me. My only contact with them is through Facebook and email. I haven’t met either of them in real life; not even had a video chat with them.
It felt weird and intriguing. Here are two ladies whom I’ve only conversed with virtually and neither knows more than I’ve allowed them to, yet, according to them they are having strong feelings towards me. Those who have read the article know that I decided to be honest with them and ask that our relationships remain strictly plutonic.

It’s not that I don’t want a relationship; neither the fact whether I was actually attracted to either of them. I must admit, I was tempted. But my heart does really belong to someone else and it wouldn’t have been fair to either of them. I’m a hopeless romantic and have been known to occasionally watch “You’ve Got Mail” a couple of times now and then. So I guess part of me would like to believe its true. On the other hand, my questioning their intentions could also indicate that deep down, part of me is not a subscriber to the theory that someone can truly fall in love with someone that they’ve never met. How do we know it is real? How do we know that what they call Love is nothing more than just mere infatuation?

I’m a firm believer in Love. But not the kind that is so often commercialised by all the media. Love is a powerful emotion often going undetected; leaving you completely clueless until its ready to strike. Love is often selfless, ever giving and often altruistic in nature.
So, if that is the true definition of love, how can anyone have such feelings for a person that they’ve never met? I will not say that it is completely impossible. I will say that such feelings need to be tested.

There’s two ways of looking at it. One, the lack of physical contact actually broadens the spectrum. It leaves a blank canvas for you to paint a picture for the other person to see. Some say that because you have the mask of the pen/ internet, you’re a bit more free in expressing your thoughts and feelings in a way that you probably will be too self conscious to do in real life. I know that women respond to this kind of stimulus very easily as this is what attracts them to a man the most; our intellectual and emotional presence.
The other way to look at it is the problems that it can cause. People can easily be misled and one can paint a picture so grand and make expectations so great, it only leads to disappointment and heartache. Even if you are completely honest about yourself, there will be something that you’ve overlooked, forgotten or will be misunderstood.

So in the end, what I am trying to say. Unlike days of old, where you had to wait for letters to come by mail, meeting someone on the internet is easy as pie. However entering into a relationship with someone that you’ve never met is like walking on thin ice. Thread Lightly. What so easily gets hot and steamy, can become very cold, very quickly.


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