On the day IronHide and I had our 1st road accident, I was actually on my way to a friend’s place to have an interesting conversation.
T’was the weekend, I was relaxing at home watching the complete series of BlackAdder and he calls me up telling me that he needs to talk to me and that what he needs to discuss cannot be spoken over the phone. As you can expect, my suspicions were all over the place.
Anyways on the way the accident happened and after finishing everything over with the police, I make to his place. Our attention was detoured towards the accident and its details; my head fuming over the fact that IronHide wasn’t pristine.
Soon however we got to talking about the reason I had to visit. He began by asking me how my girl situation was. You can imagine my surprise. I was expecting him to say that he was getting married and needed IronHide to be the wedding vehicle. 😛
Of course being the close friend that he is, he knows the whole ‘Girl Trouble’ situation. He then said that he had a proposition for me. A female friend of his approached him to find out of he knew anyone who would want to go out with one of HER friends. Apparently the specifics were that the candidate should be a proper nice Sri Lankan man and from his list of friends, I was the only suitable candidate who wasn’t attached. There was another thing. Her friend was looking for something that would develop into a serious commitment and the person should be OK with the fact that she has a kid from a previous relationship.
I was intrigued. Flattered that he thought of me. My 1st question was, “Is she cute?”.. 😛
According to my friend, he has not seen her, he didn’t know what she looked like, but from what his friend told him, she’s really cute. But 1st comes the decision to meet or not and then the pictures of her. Those were the conditions.
Now this comes on the Eve of a very important week; the birthday of the girl in the office was coming up and I was trying to make a good impression. As you can imagine, my focus was making her day one to remember. All that in mind, I still was intrigued and tempted, but said that I needed time to think about it.
A couple of days later, I had come to a decision to say that I will have to say “Sorry, I’m not the right person. Not interested.”, when at that same instance, my friend sends me pictures of the girl. Let me say this. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and she wasn’t even at all attractive to me. At that point it was confirmed that I made the right choice and I let him know. He asked me the reason and I let him know that I just didn’t find her attractive. He agreed with me on that part.
To all my female followers, yeah, I know, it was the most shallow thing to say. And who am I to be picky like that, right?.. After all I’ve never been in a relationship; I’ve never even been closely intimate with a girl, ever. So it seems like I’m passing up an easy opportunity here. But that brings me to point of this entire article.
Those who are friends with me on Facebook will see a huge number of friends; many of which are glamour models. I admit that some of their profile pictures are quite ‘out there’ and make me look like a pervert or a playboy, but its their chosen profession and I don’t judge them for it. I see them as human beings. I admit that I sometimes do feel a certain attraction to some of them, more than physical, but I’d never act on it unless they give me a sign that they find me attractive as well. Highly doubt that will happen though.
The point of the article is what is it about someone that attracts you to him/her in the 1st place. Let’s be honest, its the looks. Even though the reason I gave my friend may be superficial and shallow, its one of the biggest factors. Go ahead. Try and remember the amount of times you passed someone by based on their looks. Chances are you’ll think of quite a few. That nerdy kid in school. That quiet guy in the apartment next door. That simple guy in the room who doesn’t speak unless spoken to (aka me).
The reason I called this article, “Flaws of Attraction” is because our sense of attraction is rather complex, inaccurate and in all honesty, flawed. Much like our perception of beauty, its messed up by the media; OR.. Is it.. ?
Most of the time, 1st impression is the one we stick to, most of the time. We’ll give someone a chance based on whether we like the way he/she looks. We tell ourselves not to judge a book by its cover, but that’s exactly what we do; and for good reason.
We’re wired to be attracted to certain people. Of course, there are things that are equally appealing to all. No man will resist a good figure; no woman will resist a hard body with a six pack. If eyes are the windows to the soul, then what they see is certainly important. You cannot get physical with anyone you don’t find even remotely visually appealing; that’s the truth.
So as shallow and superficial as it might seem, looks are important. No one can deny that and to try would be to live a lie.
To quote my friend, “Looks are meaningless if the conversation sucks.” Rightly said. While looks will attract you, their personality is what will make you stay or leave. Only perverts will stick with someone who is dim-witted as a doorknob or has got the personality of a pineapple, just because he/she looks like Ken or Barbie.
As flawed as our sense of attraction is, it’s the best that we’ve got and we use to the best way we know how. Some times it leads us astray, other times, helps us from making the biggest mistakes of our lives.
As hypocritical as I sound right now, I’d say this. While looks of a person is what draws me in, everything else also matters to me. The girl at the office is no beauty contest winner; but to me, she’s practically perfect in every way. Wasn’t always that way though.
She was just a work colleague to me. I don’t know when, nor how, it just suddenly happened. Her hair had a golden glow in the sun’s light. Paper in her hand shone like glass. Her mind, a vault of secrets that somehow suddenly seemed I had to know. I was attracted; intrigued.
But by the ‘Flaws of Attraction’, while I’m infatuated with the girl in the office, from everything that I’ve said in the article above, its pretty much certain that it would take a miracle for her to be attracted to me. Here’s hoping for miracles.