Crazy childhood stories. Everyone has them. My brother, Jason and I have a few. From flooding the house to nearly setting the kitchen on fire to urinating into an electrical base. All hilariously funny when you think about them now.
But one of our biggest and most craziest stories isn’t actually all that funny. A few days ago I posted on something that may have made me look or sound like a complete mental case.
Maybe I am. I don’t know. I’ll a professional to verify that. Unlike Sheldon from the Big Bang Theory, my mother didn’t have me tested. But if she knew about this, she would’ve understood. 😛
In the eighties and early 90s the tv and movies were full of mutant. Mutants were the big thing; from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles to the X-Men animated tv shows.
Needless to say, Jason and I were huge fans and being young and impressionable, wanted to be one of them. LOL
One day, Jason had just seen the TMNT movie part 2 ‘Secret of the Ooze’ and then remembered that my dad had something similar in the storage room – Engine Coolant.
He hatched a plan. He thought this was his chance to become a ninja turtle. Being smarter than me, he didn’t want to just try it. He needed a guinea pig.
Without telling me, he poured a glassfull of the stuff, squeezed in some lime juice for taste and gave it to me. Like a fool, I thought it was some kind of juice and drank it.
Now, as I understand it, its nothing but a miracle that I’m able to write this now, as I later found out the stuff is more poisonous that I thought it was. I should’ve died within seconds.
Well nothing happened when he threw the cat in my face (we didn’t have a turtle).
His next attempt was to use an old syringe that he found. Being the mad scientist, he sterilized it, made a mixture of blood from the cat and the engine coolant and injected it into my rear while I was asleep. He did this a number of times. I’m a heavy sleeper, I didn’t even know what was going on. Needless to say, nothing happened again.
Anyways, I came to know what he was up to and thought, yeah, that it would be nice to become something. So I went along with whatever else he had proposed. Yes.. I’m an idiot. Thanks for noticing. 😛
Needless to say, we kinda finished most of my dad’s engine coolant and the cat was pretty scared of us. But all our efforts were unsuccessful. I was still human.
Anyways soon puberty hit and we soon discovered girls and stuff and thought good thing that I didn’t become a mutant. Which girl in her right mind would want to go out with me then..? 🙂
But as a teenager, I did notice that somethings were changing. I would growl or display cat like behaviour. Odd things started to happen. I noticed that I was starting to get fangs. I soon got that sorted by biting on a marble shelf in the bathroom every morning to stunt the growth. Nothing in the way of fur or claws which was a good thing.
Ever since, I have been trying to control my animal stuff and be more normal. I’ve tried to bottle up everything in hopes it was nothing but a passing phase. It worked until one night the dreams started.
Considering that in order to have a residence visa in Dubai, you need to do a blood test every 3 years, I can easily say that I’m quite normal in terms of not having any diseases or HIV.
But they must be just looking for certain things. For all they know, considering that they drew blood from someone that looks normal, he obviously must be.
There are the days that I feel like I don’t really know what I am at the moment and I wonder if all this has only affected me psychologically. All I know is that with the stuff that we did, I should be dead and I’m not. Its probably a testament to my faith.
I can only say that I was an idiot who thought it would be nice to be different. But now I think why couldn’t I be happy to just be like everyone else..? 🙂
Categories: It's just Me...